Ramblings: Rock & Roll Almost Ruined My Life Sorta

Small town southern son coming home from the movies.
Recreating what was just viewed.
Cameras nobody else could see.  
Kurt Loder interviewing River Phoenix, or somebody like River Phoenix.  
Ego lighting up like a flame thrower.  
I wanted to have long hair and answer questions about the cool movie I was just in.  
80s music videos.  Heartland, English, Glam Metal, Alternative. 
Decadence > music.  
Not gonna fall in line like everybody’s parents.  
I was MEANT TO BE SOMEBODY.  
Mind made up to go all in.  
THE SPOTLIGHT rent free living in my brain.  
14 years old.  One year of guitar.  “More than a Feeling” on a nylon string. 
What does a kid have to do to get an electric around here.  
Holden Caulfield.  
Lloyd Dobbler.  
Paul Westerberg.  
Grunge.  
Big brother’s freshman roommate has a duo who needs a “lead’ guitar player.  
Sorta know some lead.  
Real shows.  
Cash money. 
Big crowds at the College Bars. 
Manager.  
Image projected on us 
Doesn’t fit.  
Doesn’t work.  
We try anyway.  
Britney. 
Boy Bands. 
Rap Metal. 
Visions of Limos, The VMAs, partying with hotties from some WB show.  
Practical life skills shirked.  
Levis.  Pearl snaps. Chucks. Cowboy boots.  
The Last Waltz.  
Ryan Adams. 
Decadence under the guise of substance.  
“Rock starring”is acceptable as long as you talk about Flannery O’Connor, Big Star and the Carter Family in interviews.  
Decades of booze and romanticizing rock & roll.  
The occasional mustache.
Faces.  
High Life.
Prine. 
Kristofferson. 
Jack Daniel. 
Back burnered God.  
Same story different towns.  
Pretty good ain’t half bad.  
Rotting on the vine.  
Self serving recognized.  
Indolence realized.  
This is not my life to waste.  
I was given this opportunity.  
God takes center stage.  
I'm trying to find my seat.