Bob/Todd & Jacob


He was talking to his father on speaker.  Casual catch up conversation, the current goings on. 
“Tell him what happened at the Publix today, Bob,”  he heard his mother say in the background. 
“What happened in Publix?” 
“Oh, nothing really.  I was just doing all the social distancing stuff, standing back behind this guy in the steak section, and he was just taking his sweet ass time-must’ve spent ten minutes picking out a damned steak…”
 “Ten minutes?” 
“Yeah.  And there wasn’t a whole lot to choose from.” 
“Right.” 
“So, finally this guy grabs what he wants, and I walk up to the steaks.  And, I’m not there ten seconds before these two twenty year olds just come up right beside me.  You know I’ve never been a get off my lawn type,  but I really wanted to tell them to back the hell up.” 
“Maybe you should have.” 
“Well, that wouldn’t have done any good, just put me in even more contact.” 
“I guess.” 
“So, anyway, I just grabbed a couple of strips and moved on.” 
“Fuckers.”
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There were about ten people at the house, playing quarters and other beer games around a thrift store patio table.  Todd sprayed lighter fluid on an already existing flame, making a woosh as it shot upwards from a rusted charcoal grill. Jacob reached his hand into a dirty Igloo with greek letters and fall house painted on the side, fished out a can of Bud Light.  He pulled out his keys, punched a hole in the back of the can, popped the top and chugged. “2 seconds,” he gargled, a little beer coming out of his mouth.  Then, “So, me and Todd were at the store today, and some old dude was taking way too long looking at the steaks.  And this other old guy, was  standing a long way from him, doing all that social distancing shit, we we were grabbing beers, so when we got a case we walked up to grab some steaks, and this other old guy huffed at us…” 
“Wait,” said Chad.  “He said something to you?” 
“Nah, I could just tell he was pissed.  People are really freaking out about this shit, man.” 
“Maybe they should,” said Ryan.  “It is a pandemic, after all.” 
“Pandemic? Come on.  This whole thing is getting way overblown.  Feels more like a vacation to me.  I don’t have to work, and for once, Mom and Dad aren’t bitching at me about it, they even offered to send me money.  Cheers, Mom and Dad,” he said, holding up his beer.  “Good times.”

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